‘Cos Everybody Dies But Not Everybody Lives

I want to laugh. I want to laugh easily, smile easily; that child-like laugh that spreads across the face even when it’s about something silly.

I want to live, carefree, not tightening anything to my chest, not tying anything on my back because a heavy body can’t fly. And I need to fly.

I want to dress up pretty. Pretty means jean and a top), wear lipgloss, and contemplate which earrings to wear.

I want to go out, laugh with people I’ll never see again, meet people I’d be BFFs with. I want to try new restaurants, snap food pictures, take my books along so I can snap them over aesthetic materials and marvel at my nonexistent photography skills.

I want to read. Words that make my hair stand, words that make my heart sing, words that make me envy the writer because “why didn’t I write this first?”

But also, words that make me angry, that rile me up, words that make me rethink where I stand in issues, words that make me shake my head because “who still thinks this way in 2021, ehn?”

I want to speak. Sometimes, it feels like everyone is speaking so why add to the noise? But I want to speak, because keeping it in chest won’t change nothing, because silence is stifling, because ‘your silence won’t protect you.”

I want to complain. Enduring isn’t exactly something I like, neither do I like pretence. So when it hurts, I want to complain. When it annoys me, I want to complain. When it doesn’t sit well with my soul, I want to complain. When it’s wrong, I want to complain.

And I want to live. I think death is what scares me the most. The fear that I’ll die without really living. So, I want to breathe, I want to enjoy the moment, I want to tick off all the ridiculous things on my list, put my work out there and bask in God’s light that will never cease to shine upon me.

*Insert Quote*

‘If you are silent about your pain, they’ll kill you and say you enjoyed it.’

— Zora Neale Hurston

💜, Zyzah